8 Things That Are "Here To Stay"

  1. Volatility - With the recent crash in Chinese stocks and the Fed threatening to hike rates a horrifying quarter of a basis point, I think the volatility is here to stay for a while.  Unless there is a way the Chinese can imprison every person who sells stocks and the U.S. can somehow not implode by raising interest rates 0.25% and thus crippling the economy (hard to say with a straight face) be prepared for daily 2% swings on the indices for the remainder of your life.
  2. Stock Buybacks - Stock buybacks have hit ATHs and have accelerated the past couple of years on the strength of corporate balance sheets. Screw hiring people or spending money on R&D. Just buy back moar stock and boost that share price.
  3. Non-GAAP Earnings - My favorite. Why would anyone ever want to report GAAP earnings and look like fools when you can look like a hero? Non-GAAP earnings reminds me of the scene in Silicon Valley when Richard explains that he'd like to release a subscription model: 
    "Why would you go after revenue? If you show revenue, people will ask how much, and it will never be enough. It’s not about how much you earn but what you’re worth. And who's worth the most? Companies that lose money. Pinterest, Snapchat, no revenue. Amazon has lost money for the last 20 years, and that Bezos motherfucker is the king!"
  4. Tax Increases - Our debt is ever increasing and the only way to pay for debt over the long term is to raise taxes.  Don't be naive and think the next President elected will lower your taxes.  The Bush tax cuts were a once in a lifetime thing even though Obama effectively just renewed and renamed them. 
  5. Wealth Gaps - The rich will always get richer unless they load up on $TWTR OTM calls.  Don't all of a sudden think millennials will somehow close the wealth gaps created centuries ago during the Industrial Revolution.  Millennials are handcuffed by student loan debt, mortgages, and other things they can't afford.  Get used to working  your entire life. 
  6. Your Unemployed Kids - Your 30-year old son or daughter are here to stay after they get laid off from Starbucks and can no longer afford rent.
  7. Comparative Charts - You know...comparing today's economy to the 1929, 1987, 2000, and 2008 crashes.  When are people going to realize that all of these charts and comparisons are irrelevant because of the amount of liquidity every central bank around the world has injected into the economy? Sure they make great headline bits but just stop with the charts already.
  8. Not Social Security - We all know we can't afford the bill for this shit.  The sooner we stop paying into this the better off everyone will be as they can pile more money into stocks.  Because where else are you going to put your extra money? This is definitely NOT here to stay.