Dealing With Loss

I received a text message earlier this morning informing me that my grandfather had passed away. He had recently been fighting pneumonia and his lungs kept filling with fluid. Over the Easter weekend, I was lucky enough to visit with him one last time at the nursing home.

We went to the nursing home and sat down with him for an hour. I knew he was on the last leg of his life’s journey and was ready to join my grandmother in the afterlife. I was surprised by how sharp his mind was after the multiple procedures he had undergone to drain the fluid from his lungs. He also battled dementia. For some reason, he could remember all of the kids’ names but couldn’t remember what he had for lunch that day.

My grandmother passed away unexpectedly a little less than four years ago after falling and striking her head. While she had a life alert system, for some reason she didn’t have it on her at the time. It’s unfortunate that the newest Apple watch with the fall protection monitor wasn’t available yet. If she would have had one, it could have potentially saved her life and provided me with additional years of memories.

I was extremely heartbroken about the sudden passing of my grandmother. I’ve found that it’s much more difficult dealing with the loss of someone you love when it happens unexpectedly. I struggled with the what ifs and the things I wish I could have said, fully knowing I’d never get another chance. I knew my grandfather was ready to take the next journey and I was able to say my goodbyes. While it is still difficult dealing with his passing, I feel a sense of fulfillment knowing that I said everything I wanted to say to him and that his suffering is over.

Writing this is also helping me deal with the loss. I’ve always felt that getting words on paper is the best way to declutter the mind. I will be taking a short break from making financial funnies on the Twitter machine so I can spend some quality time with family.

Some of my most vivid memories with my grandfather are going fishing at the lake, eating homegrown blackberries, and drinking whiskey sours at Christmas. He never missed a single one of my sporting events when I was in high school. He loved the St. Louis Cardinals and drinking Coors Light. A true American hero.

He will be dearly missed.